∅

lost in my own mind

too many files running in the background

unclosed

burning my drive to process

covering the capable memory

exhausting & burning out

a thought should indeed have a mass

like the matter of our surrounding

but it's just

impossible to focus

how many lies are running in the background

how many files remain unclosed

if I

İf I could only see

my skin is shivering the pain

hard to unclose

harder to read

hardest to know

I keep denying

that this is the truth I didn't see

this is the truth I can live with

you can't blow out the candle twice

flame is just gone

& the wish just vibrated

my wish for the truth has burned me out

I regret none of it

still

the cleanse is never enough

always more

too much to carry

too much for them to know

what you see isn't depth

yet you choose the path of shallow & never see that

you scream

for the continuity of life

I wish I'd watched you

from afar

it's too painful to see

more painful to know

painfullest to move forward

somehow