blood stains

saw that scene over

my excitement to get through my vulnerabilities

openly bleeding

i was in that room tonight

it meant nothing

i looked around

the frequency didn't feel right

scenes played inside out my head

i never wanted what i thought i wanted

it seemed dull

i remember the times i would anticipate him coming by

it was his anyway

i was the new girl

i was always the new girl

and somewhere between there the years have passed

like i walked away then i expected something that would pull me in

not an inch felt right and the frequency

the light was so bright

un-dim

the crowd expecting a piece to shout

i remember the first time i analysed that

today i felt like an element

a piece mislead in time

a melody that's mislocated

and the most weird part was that the phallus didn't get to me the way it did before

the way it ringed and ringed and ringed

i felt stone cold

none of them was near my frequency

very possibly they never were

but being there in the place i let myself bled to death

hearing laughter

new faces covering up the blood stains I'd left

none of them I knew

i felt like they were sitting all over my blood stains

remembering how disappointed i was

little me walking with all that naivety

lots of dreams in hand

i remember one by one

all of them crushing by

the volcano exploding

i remember how when it all started

him and i would go to that place

it would feel home

it even doesn't smell the same anymore

enough to make me question why