Phonons

I want to cry about it

before I let myself forget about the fact that you existed

isolate myself from all of you

do I really love you

this is a test

all of this is a test that I want to let it fade away

am I really with all of this

okay

I want to listen to the piano ring the cheeks of my ears

like a little child

I want to shut out the loud

realising now

I never was able to build those surfacing connections

the iceberg always intrigued

as I'm typing these

I see a group of bubbles instead my head

growing

remembering

I always wanted to be an artifact

Can't imagine a different world now

Is it disorderly that I love to feed from the darkness

and pain-based melody-faced silence

I sometimes want to shut out the light

the light they define is norm-based

I want to scream

scream in the loudest violin

then I want to not be based in the skin

my mind builds dimensions

I want to leave out the reality

let it become a breeze

let the pain heal me like it always have done

quality of life they say

all of this based on norm-al perceptions

but for my entire life I've fought them

staying true was the goal

then I realised I can already become everything

by being nothing

instead of holding on and letting my palms bleed

I let go

I feel weightless

in his accelerative elevator

0 gravity

am I an anomaly

I feel like a 0 vector all over again

leaving my breath beyond the layers of lines to bleed and set me free

more than you know

I feel free

although I'm sure they have a lot of names for me

one day they will to see

my brain and I

we are nameless

we see without borders

beyond orders

unorderly laughters

it's the sound of my reality

colliding into its ashes