9 - PLEASE, FAIL.

~ Stephen McCranie

Dear Reader,

Welcome home.

You've been extraordinarily missed.

It's a new era. I find it unnecessary to talk about the obvious details. One truth; we matter.

Sometimes silence is the best way to give an answer and now that we've past that period of silence; by the power, creation has vested in me, I am now ready to explode. Let my words in and let's leave no roofs in place to begin.

I want to fail.

I am prepared to fail.

Zero is bigger than 0ne.

I will fail, and I will fail better.

Don't fear, FAIL.

Now that I have left my initial question marks, we can begin.

Recently, I've decided to use a metaphor to call my mind, until it's time for some recreation, it's my Wonderland.

Do you remember my last message about the true nature of growing?

Growing is not finite, and so as success.

You can succeed one day and fail in the other. This doesn't mean you are a bad student, of life, or that it's a coincidental success.

Life has unique methods for teaching, we all know that, but still, those numbers somewhat have their impacts, whether it's real or psychological.

They affect our lives in a negative or positive way. Now, before we continue this delicate conversation, I want you to know that the summary won't say numbers don't matter. With all due respect, they do. But the question is, for whom.?

While you take that one to your undiscovered or unopened boxes of "unanswered" let us move on.

We all tasted unsatisfactory results of getting what we have wanted, independent of what it is. You are happy for the first ten seconds, then the feeling suddenly fades away. You either realize it wasn't an actual necessity or you feel hungry for more. Either way, it's not pleasing. Remember the days you worked so hard, just to get it but now you have it and it seems pointless or not enough. Now you want something else.

You may find this irrelevant now, but patience, my dear reader.

Imagine yourself on the road, on foot, or in your favorite vehicle moving towards a gorgeous view. You are heading somewhere, you've been planning it for some while and finally, you are on your way. A gentle breeze, blowing out your hair, the weather is just how you like it. Who knows, maybe you're not traveling by yourself?

You notified all your contacts that your phone will be closed for a short while, they respected your choice. You are free of your phone too. Think about what might distract you and slowly, shut them all down. It's your time.

You've been waiting for this. Have you been planning it since you were a little child? Have you dreamed about it thousands of times? Have you dreamed the same dream every time you went back to your cozy pillows? Did you dream about how would it feel like, if you were there right this second.?

I have. Billions of times. Maybe more. I don't know about yours, but my destination was frequently in change. Although, this is not the point.

Have you thought about whether you could get there by bike or a submarine? Maybe it's higher than Everest and you have to climb there, facing death? Have you thought about the route you're going to take? Have you thought about its highways? Is there any planned maintenance work that you do not know of? How many days will that road be closed? Did they remember to put the sign so you won't fall off a cliff? Will the weather treat you kindly?

Stop.

You can't.

Not all of it.

My point is, while we are strictly focused on our destination we usually forget or ignore the roads that will get us there. And good news, we should, we really should.

Because we, my reader, need our space to fail.

We are all gifted with our own unique journeys, climbs and mountains. For that, my gratitude is eternal.

While we are planning our next trip, those roads are what we are unconsciously in for.

You were actually in for this, ever since you dreamed that first dream or had your first thought about it.

You were in for all of it, until that "whatever it takes" became "whatever it took". A metaphor usually looks nicer in a sentence. We tend to treat it like a disaster when our own words become our own reality. Truth is, we own it all.

And ever since the beginning, we were in for the climb.

How do you climb a mountain if you are not equipped according to the conditions?

1. You give up that mountain.

2. You try, you try harder every time.

Let's go with the second, since the first doesn't have legs.

Everything can go right, left, or crosswise. I repeat, everything.

No, the world has not chosen you to throw its daily disastrous events.

No, you were not the only one nor you will ever be.

Again, you were actually in for this.

You have to climb that mountain now, because now you have started. If your mountain is something like the Everest, your stakes are even higher, and instead of trying to climb higher, do you still think about the possibility of you falling down, down, down, down to the earth...

But, you don't want that. Because you know then all those times will be for nothing, nothing at all. You are not at zero now. Things have changed.

Anyway, I have no intention of turning this into a thriller. Let's return to our comfy, peaceful road with the gorgeous view.

And, that gentle breeze blowing out your hair...

Oh. And, what is that song? You look thrilled, is it your favorite? And that smell... Is it your perfume or a kind gift of the breeze?

You are absolute perfection.

You are ready.

Is it closer? Can you see it better? Does it look like it did in your dreams?

Uh... What is that? Maintenance... Take the long way, and it would take hours to get there. Is that... What is that animal doing here..? How...

You still see it, right..?

It looks closer.

You stop moving and let it pass. Who is that... Someone approaches you, asking something? What language is that person speaking? Looks anxious. You wonder what's going on... But you also have to move on, because you remembered there is a bridge that shortens your way. Just a little thing, it is closed at the exact same time every day. From what I hear, its owner likes to push that button himself. So that leaves you about an hour to get there..

What did... Looks like you have a company now... Maybe you end up in the same destination who knows? You'll be of great help today!

End of Act 1.

If you need an Act 2, I'll be more than happy to write you one. But, you can see the possible disastrous chores of life, something can hit you, you may, all of a sudden, find yourself swimming or drowning in your own blood.

Alright, alright...

You are still alive; you have one possibly last breath to try again, go even further this time.

This is the logline of our regular day, one we greet and invite the sun to. This one sentence is all we've got.

As I warned you before, you are witnessing an explosion, one that doesn't have any kind of way for its deactivation.

My words go sideways, and if you look even closer, you'll see them cross each other behind the lines, with an intention to neutralize each other. The ability to witness it all is even better. For that, I present my everlasting gratitude.

Where were we?

On the way.

Where?

That is the question you own the answer to. Only you do. But this is the subject of a whole different story. But, I enjoy sprinkling questions around. I find it triggering.

For now, it's about realizing the climb and appreciating its allowances.

It allows us to enjoy the ride by decorating it using the best souvenirs. It offers us moments and memories, which we take for granted.

Have you read an autobiography before? Was it of someone you saw as a role model? Well, what if the entire book had comprised in one sentence.?

He started at point A, went to point B.

The end.

Why do we read a book? Why do we read a novel or a story? Why do we watch a movie?

Because how the protagonist got there, matters.

You watched him/her fail so many times. However the major point here is, that person wanted and needed something.

I'm doing what I can not to branch out too far. Gladly, I'm failing. At this moment I have two options;

1. I can save this as a draft and publish it in a more proper, organized way.

2. I can let myself fail.

We never get to enjoy failing. In the end, we failed and all of it was really for nothing, right.?

Wrong.

Why do we even fail? What did we do that was not right for this one?

This website has an answer to the first. But we need to see something less obvious.

If I could formulate "failure", I'd come up with something like this:

* Failure = (attempt + intention + motivation) - right setting / direction *

Failure is natural. Like every face, you will tell your story, when it's your time. Until then, keep your ears wide open.

They failed before you, and you will fail after them for the ones in front. They are masters. illuminators. They have lighted some of your paths, for you.

You will too, if you let yourself fail now as they do.

Your mistakes will set invaluable examples for some.

"If you can't be a good example, at least be a compelling warning."

~ Edward J Okopny

When you finally get there, you will remember how many times you were crushed down to earth, how many times you almost fell off that cliff but found a better way, the lifelong friendships you encountered along the way...

You will have a feeling. It'll be indescribable but you will feel it passing through your veins and washing up your entire body.

You will have the satisfaction of "I earned it, I earned it with every little thing I've got".

And, it will be worth it. It'll all be worth it.

So...

Please, fail.

Fail more often.

Fail again.

Fail better.

Here's a survey to learn your thoughts about our journey together.

Hoping to see you sooner this time...

Kindest Regards,

Ceyda